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"Fast Bikes", May 1, 2013

Steve Parrish


Steve Parrish

Considering the era Stavros raced in, hitting 60 is an achievement in itself...

Hi everyone, anybody else hit 60 this month? Not talking about miles-per-hour, sadly, but age. I had my 60th birthday party, which was awesome, though not because I didn’t have a clue about it! I honestly must be losing my touch, as I didn’t have a clue and it isn’t like me to not notice skulduggery and shenanigans going on around me. But they all fooled me alright, and it was great do. Loads of people came, though as it was on a WSB weekend a few were missing. But we had JT, Troy Corser and Steve Plater there among others. My fellow BBC presenter Matt Roberts came, and he got absolutely arseholed. He was so smashed he literally couldn’t stand, and even though it was my birthday I had to bloody arrange his car being returned to mine.

Thing is, I’ve not heard from him since he picked the car up, looking a bit worse for wear the next day. That may be because I slipped a large salmon on top of his exhaust manifold, and stuffed lots of unbelievably smelly cheese in his boot, and put a bunch of condoms in the sun visors, before he got to mine. Well, it is his wife’s car, after all!

Time will tell whether or not he’s talking to me, but otherwise it was a great bash, though the stripper was slightly disappointing. She was supposed to be around 20-stone I’m told, but the guys who booked her were really annoyed she seemed to be missing a good seven stone or so!

Back to motorbikes, and there’s been some more GP testing going on which has gone exactly as we expected it to; Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo making the pace, with Marquez and Rossi close by, and then the rest of them. Those four will share the majority of the podiums this season, wouldn’t you say? Marc Marquez though, wow, what a rider. We all knew he was special, but this really is something else entirely. I’m quite sure he will have his moments where it goes wrong while he finds the limit. But it’s all stuff to sponge up, to use in the future. Remember Jorge Lorenzo smashing himself to bits? Kinda worked out for him in the end, hasn’t it?

As for Rossi, I still think that when the Moon is in the right conjunction with Venus, and he’s feeling just right, that we will see a win or two from him. Most likely on special occasions, I’m thinking places like Mugello for example. But the title? No chance, I really can’t see it happening.

Understandably, folk are pointing to Lorenzo’s stupendous race simulation pace from testing, and they do have a point because he was astounding. But I’m going for Pedrosa this year, off the back of the second part of 2012 when he was on fire. There’s just something that’s telling me he could actually do it in 2013. I dunno why, call it a hunch, but by the same token I’ve been very wrong before! More than once, thinking about it...

Speaking of wrongness, I do wonder what some will make of PBM’s new sponsor, which is basically a porn website. I’ve been too scared to go on there and see what it’s about (Like you don’t know already! – Ed), just in case the missus busts me! But I’m happy to see any new money brought into racing, I guess we’ll just have to see what the fans in general and Dorna, ultimately, think of it. Ha, and they thought fag sponsorship was edgy!

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